I’d like to take a short break from my series exploring Wodehouse on Women to share a remarkable piece entitled 111 Male Characters Of British Literature, In Order Of Bangability by Carrie Frye, in which Ms Frye lists 111 fictional characters she finds sexually desirable enough to take to her bed. Almost as astonishing as her stamina, is the fact that she includes not one, but three Wodehouse characters in her list of male sex objects. These are, in order of appearance:
– Gussie Fink Nottle (at 106)
– Bertram Wooster (at 87)
– Jeeves (at 65)
Gussie’s inclusion in the list defies belief, as does Jeeves, who at 65 ranks above the virile and irresistible Flashman. Ms Frye gives her source for these appearances, as Right-Ho Jeeves and the story Extricating Young Gussie. I’ve read both, but confess I’ve never felt these characters casting quite the same kind of spell over me.
It would not be in quite the Wodehouse spirit for me to devise a list of my own, but if I may take the liberty, I would like to offer some alternative suggestions for the benefit of any other impressionable romantics considering a mate from the world of Wodehouse:
Clarence, ninth Earl of Emsworth, would make an excellent companion for any woman who is looking to curl up happily with a book in her spacious ancestral boudoir, unbothered by the attentions of a human octopus, or indeed any attention at all. If your idea of romance is watching the sun set over the Empress of Blandings as she enjoys a late supper (of barley meal, maize meal, linseed meal, potatoes and separated buttermilk) in her sty, then Clarence is the man for you.
Monty Bodkin is a romantic soul who will make considerable personal sacrifices (like working for Lord Tilbury) to win the girl he loves. Unlike many of his fellow Drones, he is financially solvent and won’t ‘touch’ you for a fiver or pawn your jewellery to placate a wrathful bookie. He is handsome, charming and honourable, but – it must be said – not an intellectual giant.
Galahad Threepwood is a debonair man-about-town who can be relied upon to show you a good time, taking in the best restaurants and night spots of London. You’ll be enthralled by his conversation too, particularly his reminiscences. You may not replace the women he loved and lost (Dolly Henderson) in his affections, or persuade this old bachelor to don the sponge-bag trousers and gardenia button-hole, but his gallant conduct is unlikely to bring about a breach-of-promise case either.
Esmond Haddock has the kind of rugged good looks and self-effacing charm that enticed actress Cora Star to give up Hollywood in favour of Kings Deverill, Hampshire. He is the popular local squire, loved by one and all. But this handsome, likeable fellow may need your help to prevent his five scaly Aunts (including the domineering Dame Daphne Winkworth) from dominating the proceedings at Deverill Hall.
Rupert Psmith is my personal ideal, an appealing Dorian Gray of comedy, without all that fuss in the attic. He is witty, adventurous, original and terrific fun. (If he takes you to dinner, don’t order the fish.) Life will never be dull with Psmith around, but you may have to get used to living in the shadow of his remarkable personality.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I think it’s time to retire to bed with a good book.
HP
Plumtopia 
Gussie Fink Nottle? Ewww, wasn’t there some story about him and newts or something like that? How?
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Yes, indeed, newt-fancying and drinking orange juice were Gussie’s most outstanding features.
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Reblogged this on Plumtopia and commented:
Who is your Wodehouse dream date? As Valentine’s Day approaches, it seemed fitting to revisit this 2013 piece, looking at the men in Wodehouse’s world in search of a mate.
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Being a straight male I wouldn’t be all that keen on a date with Psmith, but I would very much like to be him. As for the original 111 … what peculiar taste in men! Augustus Fink-Nottle isn’t even the weirdest name on there.
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It was quite a bizarre list. Mind you, I don’t suppose my own version would be to anyone else’s taste. As for Psmith, I’d like to be him too!
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Jeeves, definitely. Within that bulging brain there is, no doubt, an infallible knowledge of female psychology and anatomy. Plus he could run the bath, cook gourmet food, and bring you a killer cup of tea… what’s not to like?
The choice of Spink-Bottle is utterly inexplicable (maybe he’s OK after he’s had a few?), but I don’t think I’d throw Bertie out of bed. He’s a decent sort after all, and good for a laugh.
Comrade Psmith–agreed. He wins on the sheer force of his personality.
My dark horse candidate is Anatole 🙂
Thanks for a hilarious post!
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I like your thinking. An obliging Jeeves or Anatole would be an asset to domestic happiness. He could read Spinoza aloud while I’m in my bath!
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Indeed! The erotic possibilities are endless!
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You’ve opened my eyes!
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What a juicy list!
From a practical view point, Jeeves, with his superior intellect and home-making skills, fits the bill. He would also know what to do if ever we land up there with either a couple of cats or an injured mate. Aunts would get taken care of. Cruises would get booked right in time, so you could escape the fury of one of them. McIntosh will get attended to.
With him managing the affairs, the sun would never set, the birds would never fail to twitter, the butterflies would never cease to flap around, roses would forever be in bloom, God would continue to be in heaven in a benign mood and all would be fine with the world.
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Yes indeed. But a wife might like a mate whose emotional range extends beyond the raising of an eyebrow. I also wonder if Jeeves would really want to continue being a domestic God in his spare time. I know Jeeves was betrothed a few times, but it’s hard to imagine anyone measuring up to the role of Mrs Jeeves. But you are quite right — his many qualities make him a real catch!
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Hmmmm…. I have just returned home from a long day at work, with a head cold and a hungry child to find my own spouse has gone to the pub. Jeeves is sounding better by the minute!
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Yes, a companionship devoutly to be wished, as long as we do not figure in the journal entries of the Junior Ganymede (?) Club!
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Reblogged this on ashokbhatia and commented:
Which are your favourite male characters from the Wodehouse canon?
Here is a discussion which many of the yet-to-be-affianced from the tribe of the delicately nurtured might like!
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Well Ashok, it’s taken you a long time to get around to this but I’m glad you did because I never knew such a list existed. I don’t think Plum would be terribly amused — he never needed the Hays Office to keep sex out of the bedroom. But seeing we’ve gone this far, let me say that the inclusion of Gussie is susceptible of a ready explanation. His engagement to La Bassett must be one of the longest in literature and his skill in imitating newts mating must be accepted as a major plus. I mean to say, all that wagging of the nether regions at the object of desire . . . it would send any girl crazy. And it did! Let us not forget he eloped with Pauline Stoker and was last heard of heading to the good ole US of A where the oranges grow. Hello Honoria.
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Dear Ashok, my heartfelt thanks to you for reblogging this piece, which has stirred Noel (and no doubt others) to ponder the great ‘advances’ made in literary criticism since Wodehouse’s day. Poor Wodehouse, had he lived to write in modern times, would have also been expected to tweet, blog, appear at book signings and literature festivals. One wonders how the modern author finds time for writing.
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P.S. I believe Gussie eloped with Pauline Stoker’s younger sister Emerald.
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Oh all right, he said in an overwrought kind of way, Emerald. But the point stands: Gussie is a chick magnet.
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I can see the appeal, but he’s no Psmith!
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The Gussie in ‘Extricating Young Gussie’ is NOT Gussie Fink-Nottle. The original post has confused the 2.
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Actually her sources are correct. If you follow the link to the article, you will see she has given ‘Right Ho, Jeeves’ as the source for Gussie Fink Nottle and ‘Extricating Young Gussie’ as the source for Jeeves and Bertie. I presume she cites this as their ‘first’ story, although Jeeves hardly features. The Gussie of the title is Bertie’s cousin Gussie Mannering-Phipps.
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And please, good people! We should know by now that Bertie and Jeeves are made for each other. No opposite sex for either. Wodehouse has left enough clear indications. Read ‘Bertie Changes his Mind’ and the last chapter of ‘The Inimitable Jeeves’.
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Oh dear. If you wish to explore the relationship between Bertie and Jeeves, dig up the book by Kristin Thompson called Wooster Proposes, Jeeves Disposes and get an overflowing beaker full of “psychical marriage”. Then throw the book in a corner. Also, lest anyone get the wrong idea, consider the girlfriends both Jeeves and Bertie have left behind. Neither is definitely what the London gossip columns used to call a “confirmed bachelor”. And, yes, you’re right about Extricating Young Gussie — the G there is an early prototype of Bertie.
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Noel. The original piece gives Extricating Young Gussie as the source for Jeeves and Bertie, and Right Ho, Jeeves as the source for Gussie Fink-Nottle so she hasn’t confused her Gussies. I presume she has selected Extricating Young Gussie as a source because it’s the ‘first’ Bertie and Jeeves’ story, although Jeeves hardly features.
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As I replied to Prodosh, I have never seen their relationship in that way, but I’m happy for others to make the case, and to discuss further if they do. I confess I am curious to better understand why people think this. It can’t be simply because they are two males in a central relationship, can it? This isn’t uncommon in either life or literature.
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I’ve never seen it myself, but I don’t object to others making the argument.
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Psmith is the only one of his regular characters I could imagine being attracted to. Some of the heroes of the one off novels are quite nice, like. Packy in hot water and mike in Spring Fever.
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What Ho, Louise. Yes, Psmith is the tops in my book. I do have a soft spot for Bingo Little too. Goodness knows why….
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Here is a blog post inspired by this one of yours:
https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2018/11/16/looking-for-a-plummy-soul-mate
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If I were running a matchmaking service for Wodehousean female characters seeking prospective husbands, I’d want to have the following fellows, not so far mentioned here, on my list as potential mates for them:
Ashe Marson (Something New/Something Fresh)
William Paradene West (Bill the Conqueror)
Sam Shotter (Sam the Sudden)
Ginger Kemp (The Adventures of Sally)
Jimmy Pitt (A Gentleman of Leisure/The Intrusion of Jimmy)
John Carroll (Money for Nothing)
Reggie Havershot (Laughing Gas)
Bill Hollister (Something Fishy/The Butler Did It)
Jefferson, Comte d’Escrignon (French Leave)
Kirk Winfield (The Coming of Bill)
Spenser Jones (recently rediscovered short story “Rule Sixty-Three”, at Madame Eulalie’s Rare Plums)
–Louise above also mentioned Packy Franklyn (Hot Water)
I’m probably leaving out a few, but you get the picture: these guys played football for Harvard, boxed at Oxford, keep themselves in shape with Swedish or Danish exercises or rowing or riding, can stop dog fights, set off on adventures on tramp steamers, fought in the French Resistance, think nothing of plunging into a lake with their clothes on to save a girl, and in general are fit and intrepid. I don’t know what Ms. Carrie Frye considers “bangable”; most of these guys are old-fashioned romantics in any case, so are the type to seek a life partner rather than a naughty fling. But one gets the idea that after marriage, the physical side of their relationships would be mutually fulfilling.
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